Saturday, November 3, 2012

THE COD CLUB

Meet Winnie of the Call on the Dead Club
Poor Winnie had to take an oath when she received the unwanted gift to join the COD Club.
You know, Fat Phil talked her into joining.
Here it is.
 

We stood and repeated the pledge:

           I will faithfully read the daily obituary column.

            I will visit the dead in my designated area, avoiding visiting hours, and ask if they have one last request.

           I will perform said request to the best of my ability and vow to return with an honest report before the casket’s final closing, at which time their spirit must forever leave this earthly plane.”

            What had Fat Phil talked me into?
 
Let’s peek over Winnie’s shoulder as she muddles through a scene of her very first mission.
Baskets of flowers lined the hallway, the perfumed blossoms overpowering.  I sneezed.  Quickly, I scanned the foyer.  Empty.  If seen talking to the corpse, I’d claim insanity swam in my gene pool.
            Crouching, I peeked around the corner of the viewing room. Yep. A tall blonde-haired woman wearing a spiffy gray suit stood gazing into the casket.  I took a deep breath, summoning my one drip of courage, then tiptoed into the room.  I tapped her on the shoulder. We both jumped. 
            With my heart thudding hard, I ventured onward in a trembling voice, “Edna, I’m here to grant you a last request.”
            She sucked in her cheeks.  “I’m not Edna, you moron.  I’m Lottie Stevens.  Edna is dead.  See?”  She pointed to the emaciated body, wearing an auburn wig, lying in the coffin. Looking down her nose at me, she sniffed, “And, just what the do you mean by last request?”  
           “Ah, er, sorry.”  Beads of sweat tickled my forehead.  “I thought you were Edna who lives across the street from me.  Edna is such a common name, don’t you think?  Um, Edna and I were supposed to meet here to pay our last respects.” 
             Lottie offered me a snotty, “Harrumph,” turned her nose to the ceiling, spun on her spiked heels, and strode out of the room. 
             Uptight witch.
            I collapsed on a nearby maroon velvet chair.  A petite, auburn-haired woman crouched in the corner, partially hidden behind a marble pedestal bearing massive red roses.
           Edna?
          My legs shook as I rose, and then squeezed my thin frame behind the pedestal.  I reached for her arm.  My hand passed through her and my fingers scraped the rough plastered wall. 
          Yep. Edna. 
*****
I hope you enjoyed that little scene of Winnie's first mission and the beginning of how she learns to deal with her spook-speaking ablily.
The first two Winnie adventures, stories one and two are in the first download.
Please visit

 



Thank you for reading. If you wish, please leave a comment.
 
 
 


 


17 comments:

  1. I'm impressed, Lorrie. Blog is looking real good. When do you start giving lessons? LOL

    Nice excerpt from Winnie's first COD episode.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ha, ha, you don't know how long it took me to do this. I'm still taking lessons myself. But I will master this beast.
      Thanks for dropping by, my friend.

      Delete
  2. Great job, Lorrie. I like the looks of your blog and I really enjoy your wit. I'll be emailing you for a slot as soon as I get my stuff together.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh, that is GREAT! I LOVE the excerpt. Great book I'm about to go grab!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Howdy Gail, thanks for stopping by. You have a spot too, if you want it.

      Delete
  4. Fantastic, Ginger. I'll be looking forward to it. It's time I return all the guest spots I have been given by you and all the other tremendous authors.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I love the C.O.D. pledge, especially faithfully examining the obits. I wrote a story about somebody who did that too, but wasn't as nice as Winnie.

    Yes, I'm proud to say your blog is coming along, slowly but surely. Your persistence in working things out is great.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A big thank you to you, Marva, for tutoring me and helping me with this blog. You still have more to teach me so you can't quite stop pulling your hair out yet. lol.

      Delete
  6. that sounds like a really fun read. and congrads on your blog. it looks great.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Thanks Larion,
    Nice to see you here.

    I still have a lot to learn, but I'll get there.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Love the pledge and ALL the Winnie stories. She's quite a character and manages to get herself in a pickle every chance she gets.

    You're doing great on your blog. Looks wonderful. haha Marva, if Lorrie has you pull out all your hair, then you could always borrow Edna's auburn wig. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Darla, my critique buddy.
      Wait until I tell Marva what you wrote. lol. And just think, she might end up bald because she still has a lot more to teach me. Poor woman has to put up with me, this computer idiot. We should all send her a sympathy card.

      Delete
    2. My mentor! :)
      I sometimes still feel like a moron trying to figure out this machine. haha Take notes, hon, because I'm gonna need it when I start a blog...whenever that may be.

      Delete
  9. I am trying to maintain a head of hair, which reminds me I have a Loving Care box awaiting my attention. Might be easier getting a wig than continuing to cover the gray.

    Lorrie is doing fine blog-wise. I just haven't heard anything yet about any new writing....(hint).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No new writing has been done yet. Still in the middle of remodeling. Plus I'm waiting for my publisher to start editing COD #2 story. I hope we get the next Winnie adventure released soon. They also have #3. Still working on four, but taking a break until my house is in back in order.

      I let my gray hair show. It gets tiresome dying it. lol

      Delete
    2. Marva-good idea. A wig would save me from dying my hair every two months with a root touch up in between.
      I recently saw this commercial for spray color-made me think of the old ad for spray hair. haha My husband laughed when I told him I wanted to give it a try. He's blonde and instead of getting grey hair like most people, he's been getting black hair-he takes after his dad. Ugh! Men!!!
      Lorrie-use ear plugs and get to rewriting #4. :) *SNAP* (that was me cracking that whip) LOL

      Delete
  10. Better Winnie than me, lol Sounds like a fun read!

    ReplyDelete